SOOOOO COOOLLL!!!

Check out this link. This is one of the neatest things I've seen put to music and must have taken a lot of time.

Thanksgiving...

Tonight my family will celebrate Thanksgiving.....without me. It is not a good, bad, or indifferent thing and then again it is all 3. I am extremely thankful for many things and, given the holiday, I feel that I will expound on the thanks I have that there will be celebration tonight without me.

First and foremost I know that where ever I am or what ever I am doing, the Lord watches over me. He keeps me safe. He loves me. He provides everything I have and I am truely thankful to be here because of Him. I am also thankful for where I will go, also because of Him.

Second, I am thankful that I have a family that will be celebrating. Without a family, I don't think there would be a reason for living. They are the light and love of my life. From my wife and kids, to my parents and siblings. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all those that are just family because they mean so much.

I am thankful that I will be missed because it means that I am loved. They love me so much that my absence will be a little bothersome to them but they will also carry on as though I was there to celebrate the holiday and family.

Third, I am thankful for the reason I will not be there and that is my job, or one of them. It means a couple of different things. It means that, since it is a second job, that I am willing to work hard for my family to support them. It means that I am able and capable to do so. It means that I'm not afraid to take on additional responsibilities to do what is necessary for survival and for the benefit of my family.

I am thankful that I am healthy enough to work. I am thankful that I have transportation to and from as well as transportation home. I am thankful that I have a home to go to at the end of the day and for the people and living things there to greet me.

I know there is more to life than working and it is sometimes difficult to be taken away from so much but it is wonderful that there are things to be taken away from. I can't help to think that if I didn't have family or other people in my life, what I would be doing tomorrow. I shudder to think that I would be without any of those things that I am grateful for and realize that its a whole package. You take the good with the bad.

I wouldn't need a second job if I didn't have my wife and kids. So, I think of the trade off and I would take a second job and third if necessary to provide for them. I would suffer and give up sleep to insure that I could watch them grow up or spend a little time with them. I refer to thankful reason #1 for giving me a family and making me work hard to keep and maintain them because He worked so hard on this earth to keep and maintain us. He continues to work today to keep and maintain us.

May you too realize the things that you are thankful for in your life and appreciate what you have. May you also be thankful for the things that seem negative and realize that they are there to keep us humble and to teach us the value of hard work. If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth doing.

Happy Thanksgiving.

A Attempt at Being Sentimental

I let a tear go today. Why, you ask. For myself. For my wife, for my kids, for my family, and for my friends. They are dear to me, more than they may know. Life comes at us fast and for us to stay at it, priorities have to change, life drags the worst out of us. For that I say we should give life the finger sometimes and take time out for those we love. Play hide-and-seek with the kids, give the wife some one-on-one time, hang with the friends, even if it means getting your butt kicked in racquetball, or any other thing you do together. Life is short, things can be taken and given at any moment so live in the now, live life to the fullest and don't forget the little things. It's those that matter.

Gotta Get This Off My Chest

Part of this post is in some sort of response to Ryan's Blog Losing My Religion and part of it is that I need to get some stuff off my chest. I'm not really going to apologize for anything in this entry and if you are offended, that is not my intention. I think that some things have just come to a boil with me and I'm ready to explode. So instead of making a mess all over my cube I'll let it all out on this blog. Hate me if you will, but this is all going to be said from the heart and I hope all will know that I'm doing what I can.

Recently I was talking with my sister and was asking why it was that most of my extended family on my mom's side didn't like me. What I ever really did to them to make them not talk to me or even take all and any chance to avoid me. Her reply was that I moved to Logan, where I attended college, and when I came down, I didn't take time for them. I think this could even extend to the moment I got home from my mission. I got home and instead of taking time to run with the boys and hang with the family, I decided to persue the whole marriage thing and spent a lot of time with the love of my life. I didn't mean to shun friends or come across that I couldn't be their friend, and even now I feel like I'm the a-hole that always ruins the plans that are made because I'm not able to make it. I want all to know that I love hanging out with my friends. There are a lot of things that are important to me and even though I don't wear my feelings on my sleeves, I am hurt at some of the ways that things are said and the way I feel treated when I'm around. I have a role as a father and a husband, and I take that role very seriously. My dad cared about me growing up and knew what was going on in my life from a distance. It hurts, I cry when I watch a movie where the dad is the one that cares for his children and realizes that they are important. I know my kids are important and they always will be #1 in my book. My wife is my life and support. If I didn't have her, life would be a lot different. Sometimes it gets to me that I feel like I'm asking for her permission to go hangout with my friends, but I realize that I have obligations to her and part of that is being around when she needs me. So I'm not always going to be able to just go hangout.

When it comes to friends, I feel that I have the greatest friends a guy could have. I have friends that would back me up in any situation that I was in. I have friends that don't realize that I love them with all my heart and at one time the brotherhood between us was stronger than steel. I know have friends that I feel try to avoid me and think that I don't like them, or look down upon them. Not so! More not so than anyone can even realize. My friends and I didn't become friends because of the religion we belonged too, my friends and I didn't become friends because of the bad things we did, or didn't do. My friends are my friends because they are the people I love to hangout with. It hurts to think that my friends are less my friends because when I came home from college on weekends I didn't make time for them. That I didn't take time, to do anything, and I'll admit to that. Time was scarce when we were here on the weekends with family activities. And my number one argument is that the road to Logan went both ways. I'm here now and I have a house and even though it's way out in the boonies, it's always a place where you can come and hang. I my brothers back regardless of our circumstances in life, you are my brothers and at one point in time we would have been there through thick and thin. Life changes, my fourth child will be born in June of next year, but hopefully that won't stop all the fun-loving uncles and aunts from remembering that these kids are part of their family.

Now, that I made you read that, I want to add a few words for the Losing My Religion blog by Ryan. I want you to know that this decision is yours. I know that Utah is full of Mormons that may look down on you and may shun you for your beliefs, but realize this, you have a loving family that will be there for you. Gospel standards are hard to live life by. It's hard not to agree to a drink when you are hanging out with friends, it's hard not to do some of the things we love because the Prophet says it's bad. Some of the quotes that you quoted were good, but one thing that I have always been told is that ultimately it is up to me to find the truth. I know that President Hinckley is a Prophet of God and that he speaks God's words to us today. But the great thing about the gospel is that we were given agency. That's the beauty of it. We were given agency to deal with life. If we choose to do the things that the Prophet asks, then we need to do them. I think that the blessings we've been promised are a hard thing to realize because they aren't always immediate, neither are they always eminent. How do blessings come to us, and are we aware that they are there. No. Would we realize life was any different if we didn't get them. I believe in some circumstances, yes, but not always. Each decision we make in life is going to lead us somewhere, regardless of how small that decision may be at one point in life, they may have huge consequences later on. Ryan, you have a Heavenly Father that knows and loves you. He told us that He would send us the comforter, which is the Holy Ghost when we needed it. I know that this decision is yours and that this may not sway you, or even that you will ever read this, but if you do, remember that you have a promise that if you are truly searching then you can receive an answer. I think that is what it says basically in James 1:5, that if you lack wisdom, that you can get it and you won't be upbraided for it. Anyway Ryan, I myself consider you a friend and always will. We had some fun together in Jr. High school with the whole Stonehenge thing and those apartments were always fun to run around in. Ryan, I know that this church is true, and I've had my shares of ups and downs and searching. It took a good friend to help me, even though I haven't been the best at helping where help is needed. You have a wonderful wife, who I'm sure will be willing to help where you need her too, and be sensitive to your needs, as well as her family.

Well, now that I've spent almost an hour writing this blog, I should get back to work. Remember that I'm trying to do what I can and that I do care.