Time of Reflection

So, as Tracy did 2 weeks ago, I feel it is my time to reflect on the past 31 years of my life as today is my 31st birthday. I won't say I'm that old because there are people who would definately disagree, but I won't say I'm young because, well, I'm not. Being one of the oldest in my family is sometimes one of the most difficult tasks. My wife would agree. I was the oldest of 3 kids and missed out on a lot of things because I was the oldest.

I was aware of what was going on when my parents divorced. I was aware prior to that that they were having problems. I was there to help with my brother and sister growing up. I helped by being a babysitter. I wasn't able to do some of the things that they were able to do because it was either a new concept to my mom, or we were not in a good position in which to make those types of things happen.

I had to grow up fast. I had to be a role model, which I didn't succeed all the time at, but I did try to make a difference in each life I touched. I watched as a lot of people looked up to me and looked to me for advice or help and that big brother role was extended to them as well.

Not always was my advice heeded, and I was not always successful at my endeavors to help people. It hasn't stopped me from trying to help or from holding out hope that all things will work out in the end. Afterall, somehow, I became an optimist.

Still, to this day, I know that I am looked upon for advice or for help and, regardless of the cussing out I get from those who offer me advice, I will still try to help in anyway I can but each time I become a little wiser.

I do not regret any of it though. I look back on my life and know that I have made some difference and it is my hope that those people that took a different direction than what I offered will look to that advise and learn from it. Not for me to say "I told you so" because that is not what it's about. It's about love. It's about caring. Its about wanting to see great things for people. I hope that I have made a positive difference in this world and that I will continue to learn, grow and achieve, even if it is one person at a time.